Archive Category: Nudisme

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voyeur france escort girl sens

L'Italia cambia cosi' in fretta che non si e' mai sicuri di aver pagato la tangente al tipo giusto. Il dipartimento di scienze comportamentali di una nota università italiana ha deciso di fare un esperimento singolare: Uno dei siciliani ha ucciso l'altro per restare solo con la siciliana.

I due napoletani e la napoletana vivono felici e contenti in un armonioso mènage a trois. I due altoatesini hanno fatto un programma settimanale per alternarsi a fare sesso con la altoatesina.

I due sardi dormono insieme, e la sarda svolge le faccende domestiche e cucina per loro. I due toscani stanno aspettando che qualcuno li presenti alla donna toscana. I due liguri hanno guardato il mare, poi hanno guardato la ligura, poi hanno guardato il mare ed hanno iniziato a nuotare I due veneti hanno aperto ciascuno una distilleria. Non riescono a ricordare se fanno sesso con la donna veneta oppure no, colpa della troppa grappa di cocco, ma almeno sono soddisfatti perché non ci sono terroni.

Ognuno dei due torinesi è convinto che la torinese faccia sesso soltanto con lui I due romani hanno trovato un'altra donna e quindi fanno gli scambi di coppia. I due milanesi si stanno ancora menando per decidere chi è più forte e la milanese è andata a nuoto all'isola dei romani La fanteria italiana non retrocede mai, fa mezzo giro e continua ad avanzare.

Una grande biblioteca universitaria. Uno studente si avvicina al bancone informazioni, dove un clonato con la faccia di Leonardo da Vinci legge la Gazzetta dello sport. È sicuro di volerlo fare? Vorrei consultare il ventennio dal Duemila al Duemilaventi per la mia tesi di laurea. Lo studente raggiunge la porta del salone. La apre, scostando un velario di ragnatele.

Alle pareti ritratti e foto di italiani illustri. Con stupore, si accorge che mancano i politici. Si siede al terminale , uno schermo di computer ovale con fregi liberty. Chattare con studentesse disponibili? Abbiamo delle piccanti novità: Va bene, che argomento la interessa? No, politica - sussurra lo studente - il titolo della mia tesi è: Vorrei sapere tutto su Silvio Berlusconi. Faccia un altro nome. Torna in patria dove le mollezze romano-ministeriali deteriorano il suo celodurismo.

Conclude la sua carriera gestendo con fortuna il ristorante "Da Umbè er padano" sui colli romani. Dopo esser rimasto senza lavoro mise a frutto il suo dono di saper prevedere bombe, alluvioni e eventi catastrofici. Ma i giudici si vendicarono di lui: Non si riprese mai piu'. Ma gli studenti, stanchi di andare ogni mattina a Chicago in aereo e rintronati dal fuso orario, si ribellano e la destituiscono.

Di lui non si ricorda altro. Dopo essere stato ministro triadico, si fa una plastica facciale, rinnova il guardaroba ed è ministro, insieme a Forlani e Intini, nel primo governo di centro-sinistra del guidato da Romano Prodi ed Emanuele Filiberto di Savoia.

Lo si ricorda per aver dato origine ad alcuni neologismi. Del conflitto di interessi me ne ciampo. Sei un bel ciampo, non fare il ciampo, cioè "Non fare finta di niente, che quello che sta succedendo lo vedi benissimo". Medaglia di bronzo alle Olimpiadi di Porto Alegre del , classe soling.

Si clona in cinque copie e fonda la "old-boy band Centerfold", che fa impazzire le fan moderate di tutto il mondo. Tiranno rumeno che faceva coincidere la ricchezza personale con la ricchezza della nazione. Controllava la televisione, e capo di un clan di fedelissimi era solito promulgare leggi a proprio tornaconto, attaccare la stampa estera e ripetere ai suoi critici interni: Questo impressionante accumulo di potere finanziario e politico in una sola persona ha ben pochi altri esempi.

Per questo le notizie su di lui sono andate completamente disperse. Si favoleggia di una biografia in milioni di copie, di cui nulla resta.

Gli italiani non la lessero, ma ne fecero vari usi igienici, involucranti, riscaldanti. Una biografia da imitatore? Sic transit gloria mundi. In fondo sono solo un vecchio computer Fiatinvest Nel cielo della città, un grande ingorgo di autovolanti. Il rumore è celestiale. Lo studente indossa casco e maschera antigas, avvia il motorino e schizza in aria, zig-zagando.

L'Italia e' una penisola bagnata da tre mari e prosciugata da Tremonti. Ma vi immaginate qualcosa di piu' romano? Dizionario sessuale Inglese-Italiano I: The adjective comes from "lupo" wolf and literally means: Note that a man or woman which is "allupato" often is also unlucky. The word comes from the verb "ammucchiare" that means "to heap up". The second meaning of the word, i. In vulgar language, this adjective is often used by self-proclaimed polite persons instead of other stronger sentences.

Also the superlative "arrapatissimo" can be used. Used in Palermo, Sicily, as general and strong offence. Being penetrated by the ass is a very big offence for average traditional sicilian men's proud. The adjective comes from Satan, and at present is nearly only used with the first meaning, which is the same of "allupato" see. The second is the correct meaning, which is unused at present. Insult used towards a woman. This is a more sounding form for "palle". L' arte bolognese ex. At present the word is used nearly only with the first meaning.

O budiùlo d'un Pisano! Another Italian corresponding sentence is "figlio di puttana". The word, that literally means "big ass hole " is frequently used in Veneto and in Emilia. The term "ricchione" or "recchione", that comes from Naples, and the term "bucaiolo", that comes from Toscana, have the same meaning. Ugly boy or girl The word literally means "corpse".

See also "cammello" and "ciospo". Whorthless thing The word comes from the verb "cagare", that means "to defecate". A little stronger as "boiata", but the meaning is the same. Ugly boy or girl The word literally means "camel". Also when used to indicate a girl, the gender of the word must be masculine. Also "ciospo" see has the same meaning, but can only refer to girls.

Penis Not very used, this word is a derogatory synonym of penis. The figurative sense is a pejorative term used as an insult. A euphemistic form is "che etc cavolo Note that the word refers to girls, but is masculine. See also "cammello" and "cadavere". The word can only be used in the singular with this sense. The plural "coglioni" means "testicles".

An alternative and equivalent insult is the gesture of pointing one's hand towards the intended target with the forefinger and little finger extended, like a pair of horns. Ugly girl The word literally means "cockle". However note that "culattina" is a masculine name. From "dito" meaning "finger". That has an erection with reference to the penis This word, that literally means "hard", was used in the past mainly to indicate "though men", but in the present vulgar language is normaly used to refer to the penis that has an erection.

But, as we say, "E' duro averlo duro che duri", i. The word comes from "figa", in the same meaning, but indicate a more sexually attractive girl or woman. Note that the word refers to female persons, but is masculine. This word is used in the zone of Rome and derive from "fracico" that in roman slang stands for very wet". This phrase is used in the whole Italy with some changes: Person that prefers to look at sexual intercourses rather than to do them.

The word comes from the verb "guardare", i. Dizionario sessuale Inglese-Italiano II: Based on "cazzo" qv. A euphemistic form is "incavolarsi" to get steamed up, to get worked up. This word, that doesn't exist as polite, comes from the verb "ingoiare", i. The word literally means "little licker" and comes from "leccaculo", i. The variant "leccone", i. The verb comes from "loffa", that means "fart". The form "lofare", with only one "f" is also used, mainly in northern Italy. This term, that literally means "snail", is mainly used in Lombardia.

Usually it is not very strong, but its strength depends on the sentence; for example the phrase "Ti tira la lumaca? In this case, the word indicates the owner of the tool. Commonly heard in Rome to express impatience or disappointment.

Expression used especially at the South of Italy, but very common everywhere. Note that the gender is feminine! It literally means "to cover" and properly applies to animals. It also means lies, nonsense. It's all musse plural The meaning should be evident, as referring to a sexual practice. To lap in Italian means also to flatter with a purpose. The "nave scuola" is a woman, approx between thirty and fourty, that likes, as a missionary, teaching sex to inexpert boys.

It's used also to name funny a friend Ciao Nerchia!!! Often heard as "che palle! I dont' know the etymology. The word has the same two meanings as "pirla", but is stronger. The word, mainly used in Lombardia, can only apply to heterosexual intercourses. The term "pistolotto", with the same meaning, is more frequent. Very usual in Lombardia region in the northern Italy , the word probably comes from the dialect "pirlare", meaning "to spin" please, don't ask how and why; the etymology is a mysterious thing.

This word, used in Lombardia, comes from "pistola" in the sense of "cock", and indicates a stupid person. Note that the polite term "pistola" is feminine, but in this sense it is masculine, and can only refer to male persons. Also note that "pistola" with the meaning of "cock" in not used anymore. It souds very similar to it. Very popular in Italy between years people. Also "sborata" with one "r", in the northern Italy.

Generic term for "to copulate". Not as strong as "fottere". A woman or gay man as a sexual partner. The sentence "fare sega" is used in Rome and perhaps comes for to go at school and after to come back, as a "saw". Applied to men only. Mainly used by young teenagers. The word literally means "tongue job" and comes from the verb "slinguare". Used in Bologna to avoid to say "Socmel!

Very useful in Bologna. Used just in Bologna meaning nothing more than a strong exclamation. Very sconveniente and inheducate expression. Dutch Fuck spompinare transitive verb: The verb comes from "pompino", that means blow-job. The object of the transitive verb is the person that receives the blow-job.

Note that the gender is masculine! Female form of "stronzo" sense ii qv. Formed from "stronzo" qv stronzo: Refers to someone one does not like or finds offensive. The verb comes from "vergine", that means "virgin", preceded by the privative particle "s", meaning "without", so literally it means "to deprive of virginity". The polite term is "deflorare", corresponding to "to deflower". Only used with reference to heterosexual intercourses. For the etymology see above. It seems that only heterosexual men use this derogatory verb with reference to gay men.

Obviously no corresponding polite verb exists. Means a twisted knot of ass hair and shit keeping it together. Used by central-northern italian youth, it derives from "Tarzan" the popular hero of the jungle. Litterally, means "little Tarzan". You can understand why, I suppose. So call with contempt north italian people south italian people.

Literally "to pull", but this special sense refers to what the owner of the penis experiences. This meaning, that comes from the corresponding meaning as applied to the penis, is very derogatory. In this case the subject of the verb tirare has to be a derogatory term indicating the vagina. A sexually dissolute person male or female. Used especially among gay men, its literal meaning is "sow" female pig.

The word literally means "sow". The word literally means "cow". Not usual in this sense. Only used to indicate heterosexual intercourses. When used as transitive verb, the object is the woman who is fucked.

Very popular in northern Italy, between years people. Ma tu si' proprio 'na zoccola! L'italia è l'unico paese che riesce a vendere le proprie minacce. Ne ha disseminate molte in Bosnia, in Iraq, in Africa. Davvero una gran bella gnocca. Chissà di che linea aerea è". Decisi di attaccare bottone, mi avvicinai e le dissi: Poco dopo ricordai un altro slogan e insistetti: Allora scartai anche l'ipotesi Iberia, ma non mi arresi: Allora le sorrisi e le dissi: In Germania ha fatto scalpore il nuovo brevetto di una macchina speciale, che permette di acciuffare ladri in soli 5 minuti.

Installata negli USA, ha fatto prendere ladri in 5 minuti. Installata in Giappone, ha fatto prendere ladri in 5 minuti. Installata in Italia, è stata rubata in 5 minuti. E quando l'hanno trovato, gettano l'uovo e si mangiano il pelo. Se un disco volante scendesse in vari paesi della terra, probabilmente accadrebbe che: In Giappone, l'ufo viene attorniato da una nube di tecnici che lo analizzano a fondo e lo copiano in tutto e per tutto, per riprodurlo con minor costo.

Negli USA l'ufo viene attorniato da una nube di pubblicitari che presentano ansiosamente agli alieni vari contratti per la pubblicità in esclusiva dei loro prodotti. In Russia, l'ufo viene attorniato da una nube di militari, polizia e ex agenti del KGB, che accusano gli alieni di spionaggio e li internano in campi di concentramento.

In Italia, l'ufo verrebbe attorniato da una nube di individui che gridano a piena voce: Una pulitina al parabrezza? L'Italia e' un paese in via di sottosviluppo. Benvenuti all'angolo della posta del Dr.

E infine una interessantissima domanda ci viene da Prosperino di Catania, il quale si domanda perché mai Gesù è nato nelle terre d'Israele e non - per esempio - in Italia. In realtà la risposta è alquanto ovvia: Laido Tarozzo - Ass. La situazione economica del nostro paese non è delle più incoraggianti: Eisenhower, Hitler e Mussolini si incontrano e ognuno tende a esaltare le qualità della propria nazione.

Figuratevi che arrivano fino al cielo!! Dopo un po' Eisenhower e Hitler gli chiedono: Mussolini ci pensa un attimo e poi dice: In applicazione della legge Cirami, il processo Imi-Sir viene celebrato a Lugano al ristorante "Girarrosto", con il maître Gustavo presidente della Corte. Tensione a Baghdad, gli ispettori Onu scoprono una sala da ballo clandestina nascosta sotto un deposito di bombe atomiche.

I Savoia, a sorpresa, ricevuti da Flavio Briatore. Fiat, geniale operazione di ingegneria finanziaria di Mediobanca: Erika e Omar confessano, hanno ucciso perché erano legati ad Al Qaeda,non sapendo che anche le vittime erano legate ad Al Qaeda. Dopo i libri di testo, la maggioranza propone di rivedere anche gli elenchi del telefono. Il senatore Schifani si è accorto che, rispetto agli elettori del Polo, agli utenti di sinistra vengono assegnati numeri di telefono molto più suggestivi e facili da memorizzare.

Il presidente Baldassarre, rimasto solo, si dichiara maggioranza e si stringe la mano. Oriana Fallaci scrive "cacca e piscia", scatenando nel paese un nuovo arroventato dibattito. I Savoia, a sorpresa,ricevuti dai Vanzina. Crisi Fiat, tutto risolto grazie a un intelligente intervento di Mediobanca: Calcio, il presidente della Lega e del Milan Galliani, per diradare ogni sospetto, arbitra personalmente il derby di Milano.

A Baghdad gli ispettori Onu, insospettiti dai miasmi venefici , scoprono la scarpiera di Saddam. Per diradare ogni sospetto, il presidente Galliani assicura personalmente che è stata solo una svista in buone fede. I Savoia, a sorpresa, ricevuti da Al Qaeda.

Il ministro Moratti introduce il sushi nelle mense scolastiche. Si pensa a un nuovo clamoroso caso di revisionismo, ma è tutto un equivoco: Schifani vuole solo prendere finalmente il diploma. Si fa avanti una cordata Murdoch-salesiani. Continua la guerra degli ascolti tra Rai e Mediaset: I Savoia, a sorpresa, ricevuti da Paola e Chiara. Crisi Fiat, Mediobanca suggerisce di ridurre di almeno un terzo la voragine finanziaria con una pratica controsoffittatura in cartongesso.

Polemiche sul"memoriale Previti", allegato a Panorama: Crisi irachena a una svolta, Saddam accusa Bush di possedere armi di distruzione, la Casa Bianca, colta di sorpresa, chiede tempo per riflettere.

Presentato a Torino il nuovo modello della Fiat, la Mirella, una station wagon grigio-topo che punta tutte le sue carte sulla formidabile capacità di impietosire i clienti.

Nuova campagna del Foglio per sostenere Israele, in titolata "Shalom". Aderisce anche Alberto Tomba, che aveva capito "Slalom".

Si rifà vivo il senatore Cossiga, che per favorire la ripresa del dialogo istituzionale si proclama Re di Barbagia, si barrica nel caffé Giolitti e spara sui passanti con una carabina.

Riaperte le case chiuse, i clienti di destra si distinguono da quelli di sinistra perché sanno già dove è il bagno e fanno strada nei corridoi. Carlo Azeglio Ciampi ricevuto a sorpresa dai Savoia. Lanciato sul mercato il nuovo cellulare a tripla suoneria: Crisie conomica, il ministro Tremonti fa inserire nella Finanziaria un emendamento che consente a ogni famiglia di battere moneta in proprio. Il ministro Moratti introduce nelle scuole elementari il tailleur per le bidelle.

I Savoia, stremati dallo sforzo di parlare italiano, tentano di tornare nottetempo a Ginevra ma vengono fermati ed espulsi dai doganieri svizzeri. Clamoroso successo del Ponte sullo Stretto: Berlusconi compra la Stampa e nomina direttore Forattini.

Berlusconi, per migliorare i difficili rapporti con la stampa, compra anche il Corriere della Sera e lo dirige personalmente. Sono un italiano vero: Dopo la pizza e la mafia, il Milan è la realtà italiana più conosciuta al Mondo. La sostanziale differenza fra un direttivo aziendale italiano e uno giapponese è che mentre gli italiani sono riuniti, i giapponesi stanno lavorando. Io mi fido degli uomini Ma è del diavolo che c'è in loro che non mi fido In Italia non si sa piu' a chi non credere.

In molti parlamenti europei si sta pensando di rinnovare i nomi delle proprie nazioni. Gheddafi vuole i risarcimenti per l'occupazione italiana della Libia. Anche noi aspettiamo ancora il risarcimento dagli Unni. Appena ci mandano il bonifico glielo giriamo.

Sei un italiano medio, di oltre trent'anni se: E poi lo hai visto fare tremendamente anche a Mike Bongiorno Del quale è conservato un calco in platino-iridio all'Istituto Internazionale di Pesi e Misure di Sèvres. Ed in giardino ti sei costruito un arco con un bastone ed un pezzo di spago. Lo finivi solo smontandolo e rimontandolo con le facce apposto. Ed i migliori cartoccetti da tirare li facevi con le pagine leggere di TV Sorrisi e Canzoni. Preferivi di solito quelle rosse a quelle verdi.

Ma tu con tenacia le liberavi dall'involucro e rischiavi l'incolumità dei denti mordendole. Al massimo c'erano porte e finestre. Bearzot 43 Tuo malgrado, conosci a memoria tutte le parole della canzone "Italiano vero" di Toto Cutugno. Sai che Gennaro Olivieri e Guido Pancaldi erano due tizi col fischietto. Quello che avrei voluto dire e non ho detto. Ho fatto un corso di dizione per togliermi l'accento calabrese.

Io lavoro per un'organizzazione tutta italiana, che sta cercando di riportare la nostra bella lingua alla sua originale purezza, abolendo le troppe parole straniere che la contaminano. La nostra è un'agenzia d'advertising, che opera in linkage col management di diversi network, che riconoscono la nostra leadership nel marketing, e il buon livello di knowhow dello staff, formato da executive della middle class.

La decisione è stata presa in un recente briefing trasformatosi in brain-storming. Dopo aver approvato il budget, e aver ridotto per una misura d'austerity i fringe benefit, il nostro entourage è giunto ad un impasse dato da un imbarazzante break even, che abbiamo superato con l'escamotage di aggiornare il meeting per il brunch, raggiungendo poi un gentlemen's agreement tra i vari yes-man, che ci ha permesso di salvare l'establishment.

Quel rumeno è in Italia da anni, ma non ha ancora imparato a parlar bene l'italiano: Sbarco di disperati sulle coste siciliane Continua a diminuire la natalità in Italia con conseguente aumento della popolazione anziana. In un prossimo futuro ogni pensionato dovrà essere mantenuto da un disoccupato. Proposta una soluzione di compromesso, da parte del Governo, per i figli degli immigrati clandestini: Quando in un paese non si sa più ridere, vuol dire che le cose vanno male.

Il problema è che l'Italia è uno stato di diritto, mentre gli italiani sono tutti storti! Nel Alitalia ha perso milioni.

Di euro, si intende, perché di valigie ne ha perse molte, molte di piu'!! Un italiano sta bevendo in un bar di New York mentre riceve una chiamata sul cellulare. Dopo aver chiuso la chiamata inizia a sorridere da un orecchio all'altro e inizia ad offrire da bere a tutti, annunciando che sua moglie ha appena partorito un tipico bambino italiano da 12 chili.

Viene coperto dalle congratulazioni, e da "WOW" di stupore. Uno addirittura sviene per empatia del dolore. Due settimane dopo il tizio torna nel bar. Il barista lo accoglie con, "Ma di un po, non eri tu il padre del bambino tipico italiano che pesava dodici chili?

Qua tutti hanno scommesso su quanto sarebbe stato grosso dopo due settimane -- di un po', quanto pesa adesso? E il padre, orgoglioso, risponde, "otto chili e mezzo". Pensavo che ne pesasse dodici quando è nato!

Il padre italiano prende una lunga sorsata di Sambuca, si pulisce le labbra sulla manica della camicia e, piegandosi verso il barista dice orgoglioso: Italiani, bisogna stare attenti: Il Ruggito del Coniglio. È pallido come un morto! Si dice che l'appetito vien mangiando, ma l'appetito viene a star digiuni. Tranne per l'Italia, ovviamente, dove da anni tutto è fermo. Ogni paese ha il Michele che si merita! Mentre scrivo, Intini ospite di Piero Di Pasquale a Italia News, ci sta dando la grande notizia del nostro governo che si sarebbe impegnato per rinnovare e rendere più efficienti le ferrovie egiziane.

Perché non chiediamo agli egiziani, come contropartita, di venire ad aggiustare le nostre? L'Italia è stata inserita dal Ministero degli Esteri Rumeno nella lista dei Paesi da evitare perché pericolosa: L'Italia confina con la dogana. Tutti criticano i reality, ma poi li guardano. In questo caso vale il primo teorema di Simona Ventura, che dice "Affinche' possa esistere un'Isola dei Famosi deve esistere una penisola di idioti".

In Italia c'e' un club di miracolati il cui cognome inizia con la M: Moccia, Muccino e Mucciaccia. Ci facciamo sempre riconoscere. Anche in fatto di puttane.

Prendete il governatore Usa e getta travolto dallo scandalo: Ottomila dollari a mognotta più il trasporto. E pure questo Mosley e il sadomaso: L'unico scandalo sessuale finito sui giornali dalle nostre parti, è del nostro Re d'Italia in arrivo a Napoli: Non troppo cara, neee". Solo in Italia puo' presentarsi alle elezioni un politico che si chiama Pizza. Il Ruggito del coniglio. Molti non volano con l'Alitalia perché la mamma gli ha proibito di frequentare le cattive compagnie!

Presto l'Alitalia inizierà a produrre e vendere anche la carta igienica. Visto che da anni vanno a rotoli che almeno ci guadagnino qualcosa! Sapevate che dal letame si ricava il metano? A parole, noi in Italia dovremmo averne tanto: L'italiano medio porta via dall'hotel tutto quello che non e' avvitato. Non siamo un popolo né di santi né di poeti né di artisti né di navigatori: Non abbiamo ideali ma solo interessi; abbiamo molte idee sbagliate e tante ideologie fasulle, in cui non crediamo, ma in cui fingiamo di credere purché portino acqua al nostro mulino di spericolati conformisti.

Perché gli italiani sono estremisti solo a parole, e solo al bar, in piazza, allo stadio; amano il quieto vivere, anche se gli piace vivere a modo loro; i terremoti li sopportano solo in casa altrui; finché possono fare i propri comodi e comodacci, non fanno rivoluzioni. La giustizia in Italia? Sarebbe una buona idea. Anni fa hanno fatto un referendum per abolire la scala mobile Quest'anno sono stati cancellati gli ascensori sociali Bisogna assolutamente trovare una pista per uscire dalla crisi.

Lapo Elkann ne suggerisce più d'una. Mangiar bene, comprar qualcosa, mostrarsi molto ed eccitarsi un po': Gli italiani guadagnano netto, ma vivono lordo. L'antica paura degli italiani: In Italia una proliferazione di nuove leggi crea una proliferazione di nuove scappatoie.

I nuovi valori del tricolore italiano: Sono verde di rabbia, passo le notti in bianco, e ho i conti in rosso. Propongo che l'Italia come Stato indipendente sia abolito e che diventi una colonia di un Paese civile. In Italia tutto va a puttane. L'economia, la finanza, le banche, l'Alitalia. Tutto va allegramente a puttane, tranne le vere puttane, che sono le uniche che rischiano una multa! Ormai in Italia sono tutti lavoratori precari. Gli unici con il posto fisso sono i parcheggiatori abusivi!

Affinché possa esistere un'Isola dei Famosi deve esistere una penisola di Idioti. In Italia lo scenario politico è talmente scoraggiante, che si potrebbe quasi definirlo un oscenario! In Italia abbiamo ministri capaci e competenti, che stanno studiando un paio di provvedimenti per farci uscire dalla crisi. Il primo prevede di detassare il falso in bilancio, e il secondo di depenalizzare gli straordinari!

Intanto in città quella piccola macchia d'olio cominciava ad allargarsi: Ma in definitiva l'essenza di tutte quelle chiacchiere poteva riassumersi in una parola sola: Ferdinando Cefalù in "Divorzio all'italiana". Preceduto da un gran rumore di scandalo, da echi di polemiche, proteste, anatemi ed osanna, era giunto in paese un film sensazionale.

Ferdinando Cefalù, su 'La dolce vita' in "Divorzio all'italiana". Per quanto riguarda la politica sono felice che in Italia ci sia la libertà d'espressione. Forse possono impedirci di parlare, ma almeno abbiamo il diritto d'avere un'espressione irata, o delusa, o disgustata, o come altrimenti vogliamo! Non pagheranno mica lo stipendio anche ai piloti automatici? Le vicende dell'Alitalia ci hanno rotto le scatole nere!

Berlusconi ha affermato che non è vero che i debiti di Alitalia saranno sulle spalle di tutti gli italiani, ed ha ragione: Sei donne italiane su dieci non si sentono tutelate dalla legge in caso di violenza sessuale. Le altre quattro sono avvocati. Nati sotto Mussolini; vissuti sotto Andreotti; morti sotto Berlusconi - una generazione di italiani.

Sono un conservatore in un Paese in cui non c'è niente da conservare. La politica è una bellissima invenzione. Speriamo che arrivi presto anche in Italia. Che in Italia non ci sia libertà di stampa è una fandonia. Ogni giornale è libero di usare il carattere tipografico che vuole. La cosa peggiore nella politica italiana, è che a forza di mangiare merda gli elettori cominciano a trovarla buona! Ho un amico meta' ebreo, meta' italiano.

Se non puo' comperare qualcosa all'ingrosso, lo ruba. Come sarebbe l'Italia senza la Toscana? La Liguria scivolerebbe nel Lazio. Ci sarebbe un capovolgimento totale. E cosa sarebbe la Toscana senza Firenze? Come fa uno da Arezzo ad andare a Bologna? Nel finalmente i militari americani avranno finito di portare la libertà in Irak, e torneranno a casa loro.

E siccome sono di passaggio, potrebbero fermarsi un poco in Italia, e liberare pure noi! Fantozzi e' anche un terapeuta: Da cosa si capisce che l'Italia è ormai un paese al tramonto? Dall'ombra del nano che continua ad allungarsi! La carriera dello scrittore italiano ha tre tempi: L'italia non va male perché si comprano i Savoldi, ma poiché non si possono vendere i Gava. Dopo il processo Fabrizio Corona ha detto che si vergogna d'essere Italiano. Pure io provo vergogna perché lui è italiano!

Bilbo Baggin s e DrZap. In Italia se sei Carta Ginese ti danno il foglio di via L'Italia è una penisola a forma di camperos. Tutto è in ritardo in Italia, quando si tratta di iniziare un lavoro. Tutto è in anticipo quando si tratta di smetterlo.

Non c'è gusto, in Italia, ad essere intelligenti. Il guaio del cibo italiano è che dopo giorni hai di nuovo fame. In Inghilterra hanno la Camera dei Lord. Noi in Italia abbiamo la Camera dei Ba-lord. Io non credo che l'Italia sia ormai un paese in declino. La malasanita' e' una caratteristica tipicamente italiana. Per questo il governo ha deciso che dovra' avere un marchio tipico: Gli italiani ormai danno ai figli nomi come Kevin, Thomas, Daniel. Invece il cane lo chiamano Giuseppe.

Pare che gli italiani assumano troppi antibiotici. Se non fanno il loro dovere si puo' licenziarli? Non e' vero affatto. Se una e' brava Sarah Ferguson intasca una mazzetta. Del resto le è sempre piaciuta la moda italiana. Per gli italiani l'inferno è quel posto dove si sta con le donne nude e con i diavoli ci si mette d'accordo. Italia, paese di santi, di navigatori e di cognati. Se io sono scrittore satirico, è perché abito in una società che offre soltanto questo fianco.

Essere italiano vuol dire chiedere la fattura a un professionista e sentirsi rispondere: Che paese magnifico è l'Italia. Finita l'emergenza, si torna all'anormalità. Lo Stato italiano medita di annettere la Repubblica di San Marino: Aggiunta una proposta di riforma costituzionale al programma del PDL: Ormai all'estero i prodotti spacciati per italiani sono solo tarocchi.

Questo almeno è quello che asserisce la mia cartomante! Abbiamo fatto l'Italia, facciamoci le italiane! L'Italia è un paese dove i ricchi non hanno cultura e i poveri non hanno dignità. L'unico che sa le parole di 'Fratelli d'Italia' è quello che l'ha scritto, cioè deejay Mameli. Era un aereo Alitalia. L'Italia è una vera democrazia! Non possiamo decidere chi entra in Parlamento, ma possiamo decidere chi esce dalla casa del Grande Fratello!

Il diciassette marzo si festeggia l'unità d'Italia, e il nostro orgoglio nazionale, e la fierezza d'essere italiani. In Italia negli ultimi vent'anni, il numero degli spermatozoi prodotti si è quasi dimezzato. E quello dei coglioni raddoppiato. Secondo una ricerca sui maschi italiani "il numero degli spermatozoi prodotti si è quasi dimezzato". Molti sono confluiti nei Responsabili. Lenta estinzione degli spermatozoi italiani.

Sarà che molte ingoiano. L'Italia è una Repubblica fondata sul mestiere più vecchio del mondo. La situazione politica in Italia è grave ma non è seria.

A tutti gli italiani che sanno ancora resistere, criticare, indignarsi per lo stato di tremenda anestesia in cui versa il nostro Paese. L'Italia ha un grande appetito, ma pochi denti Bismarck, , dopo la firma della Triplice Alleanza. Per l'italiano i tempi di crisi sono particolarmente difficili Perché l'italiano sa anche stringere la cinghia Censis, italiani stanchi di comprare e consumare.

Ma che paese e' un paese dove si pubblica la biografia di Scilipoti? Giuseppe Resta Micro Satira. Ahi serva Italia, di dolore ostello, nave sanza nocchiere in gran tempesta, non donna di province Un italiano su due naviga in Internet; gli altri sono in alto mare. Alitalia, il commissario Fantozzi lascia per dissapori con il governo.

Al 38esimo "coglionazzo" non c'ha visto più. In Italia senza lavoro piu' di 1 milione di under La vedo dura per loro, quando finiranno il Liceo. In Italia abbiamo una destra un po' sinistra e una sinistra un po' maldestra. In Italia il Centrodestra non ha un futuro, il Centrosinistra non ha neanche un presente e lo Stato rimane imperfetto. Le ragioni del successo in italia di Pretty Woman?

L' italiano e' un popolo di puttane e di puttanieri! Ero al comune a fare un documento Gelmini meglio di Silvio: L'Italia è un paese sessualmente strano: Berlusconi scopa prima delle amministrative e gli elettori godono dopo il referendum. Ma finisce nello spam. L'Italia sotto la morsa del fango e dei detriti. Succede sempre quando devi espellere uno stronzo.

L'Italia è talmente nella merda che Napolitano per distrarsi ha seguito in tv i funerali di Simoncelli. L'Italia è il paese della Resistenza. Qualsiasi innovazione venga proposta qualcuno fa resistenza e la cosa non si fa. In Italia ci sono solo mezzi di comunicazione di biomassa. Viviamo in un Paese in cui le cose serie vengono dette dai comici L'anomalia storica della Fiat: La pastorizia italiana è nota in tutto il mondo per essere all'avaguardia nell'allevamento di capri espiatori Otaku Moroboshi.

L'Italia una delle nazioni più' corrotte al mondo. Francia e Germania, in cui molti sperano per risolvere i problemi dell'eurozona, si classificano rispettivamente 25esima e 14esima. Come si puo' avere il senso dello stato in uno stato che fa senso? Il problema non e' la fuga dei cervelli dal nostro paese. Il problema sono tutte le teste di cazzo che ci rimangono. Quest'anno ho fatto pochissimo per migliorare il mio Paese. Gli italiani sono il popolo più longevo al mondo.

Gli uomini vivono in media 76 anni, le donne 82 e i parlamentari quattro legislature Il mio PC portatile è lento In politica in Italia vige la legge del "porco", quindi non si butta nulla C'e' tanta crisi che la notte dell'Epifania anziche' la Befana arriva Befera direttore Equitalia.

Evasore scappa a cavallo inseguito da Equinitalia. Il clan dei Casalesi sta pensando seriamente di denunciare Equitalia per concorrenza sleale Un paese in cui i tassisti sono più importanti e decisivi degli insegnanti è un paese che andrà in malora, pagando tutta la corsa. Nave da Crociera naufraga dopo la collisione con una Nazione alla deriva.

Lo sapevate che la destra va con le escort, la sinistra va con i trans e l'Italia va a puttane? E' arrivata una Lettera minatoria per il Direttore di Equitalia: Se l'Italia va a rotoli alla Scottex fanno i salti di gioia.

Lussuosa nave da crociera naufraga sulle coste italiane. E ora vediamo altri esempi di allegorie. E cominciano a scarseggiare anche santi e poeti. L'Italia ha due primati, è la nazione che ha le più grandi menti e.. E piu' grandi dementi, solo che i primi sono andati, quasi, tutti all'estero, mentre i secondi siedono, quasi tutti, al parlamento L'Italia è una Repubblica fondata sulla ricerca del lavoro. L'Italia va avanti perche' ci sono i fessi.

I fessi lavorano, pagano, crepano. Chi fa la figura di mandare avanti l'Italia sono i furbi che non fanno nulla, spendono e se la godono. L'unica differenza tra l'Italia, Berlusconi e Monti è solo una: L'Italia e Berlusconi vanno a puttane La mafia non se lo puo' permettere.

In Italia siam tutti pecore I tempi son cupi e Il nostro paese, negli ultimi anni, ha fatto grandi passi avanti, peccato che tutti gli altri vanno in macchina. Passa la riforma costituzionale voluta dal Governo tecnico. Italia condannata per i respingimenti in Libia del , dovrà versare 15mila euro a ogni profugo. Prelevandoli dal conto di Bossi.

L'Italia è quel paese in cui fa più scandalo Buffon di una prescrizione. Vuoi togliere i partiti? Come lo rappresenti il volere del popolo?

Ma vi sembra che questo merdone sia il volere del popolo?? Allarme lanciato su Raiuno: Solo acqua e sapone. Triste il destino di un paese in cui dei falsi cattolici applaudono un puttaniere mediatico solo perché fomenta in loro razzismo e omofobia. L'italia e' una repubblica democratica "affondata" sul lavoro. L'Italia è proprio come il Paradiso: Monti in Cina, appello per i diritti umani: Hu Jintao chiede piu' democrazia in Italia. L'Italia è quel bizzarro Paese in cui succedono cose talmente inspiegabili da dover scrivere "L'Italia è quel bizzarro Paese in cui".

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